Real Marriage the Truth about Sex, Friendship & Life Together is written by Mark and Grace Driscoll. My husband and I have been married for 26 years and I was looking forward to reading what this book had to say about marriage. I was hoping it could be something we could read together, discuss, and grow as a loving couple. Unfortunately, I did not find the book to be very cohesive in the way it is presented. Don’t get me wrong, there are some nuggets of wisdom, but it is a bit all over the place.
I found Chapter 2, “Friend with Benefits” to be helpful; discussing the importance of friendship in a healthy marriage. Chapter 4, “The Respectful Wife” seems to be the only complete chapter penned by Grace Driscoll. I found this to be the most cohesive, well written chapter.
My biggest complaint is that the “style” of the book is disjointed chapter to chapter. The chapters vary so much in style; some are very personal (which made it un-relatable to me) while others are factual with cold statistics; not leaving much room for discussion or dialogue.
I would be remiss if I didn’t comment on Chapter 10 “Can We __?” since I’ve heard that it is drawing some controversy. As a mature woman, I was not shocked by it, but I also didn’t find it helpful. In this chapter, they answer the questions “Is it lawful?”, “Is it helpful?”, “Is it enslaving?” when discussing various sexual acts. In a healthy marriage, this chapter is unnecessary; in an unhealthy marriage, this chapter can be used to “argue the point” for doing something that one spouse might be uncomfortable with. The intention of the writer is for the couple to “prayerfully discuss what they would like to do and not do”, but I still fear that it could be used to put undue pressure on an unwilling spouse.
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